Monday, November 20, 2017

The Padded Room of Love

I wrote this as a play about two friends of mine.  The class I wrote it for dismissed it as unrealistic.  Most of this is factual and in fact ver batem quotes.

Characters:
DAVID, a graduate student living in a large apartment paid for through his cushy government job.  Aged in his late 20’s.
JACK, an unemployed young man, friend of David, who is always stopping by the apartment and hanging out.  Is currently dating Anna when he can afford it.  Age 20.
ANNA, Jack’s ostensible girlfriend, has money through her well off parents, with whom she lives.  Goes to community college and is also close friends with DAVID, and stops by the apartment often as well, most often with Jack.  Aged early 20’s.

ACT I
Setting:
David’s apartment living room, the present.

David is sitting in a chair in the living room, reading.  Jack knocks, enters without waiting for a reply, and sits down too.

JACK
[sighing] Well, David, I did it.  I talked to her.

DAVID
What do you mean “her?”  Did what to who?

JACK
I talked to Anna.  I told her it wasn’t working.

DAVID
[incredulous] Jack.  Why the fuck did you do that?

JACK
Yeah.  I told her I just couldn’t do it anymore.
DAVID
But why?  That’s like… Really sad, man.

JACK
[sighing] Yeah I know.  I mean she’s a good girl and all, it’s just that, I mean, I just don’t have feelings for her like I thought I did.  I think I’ve fallen in love with someone else.


DAVID
Someone else?  Like who?

JACK
Well, don’t tell anyone but…  You remember Mary?

DAVID
[stammering, incredulous] Um… That one girl from Scotland?  The one who’s pictures you’re always liking? The super emo looking one?  The 16-year-old one?  I know you’re just kidding me.  I know this just a prank, because you are not that fucking stupid.

JACK
Yeah I know, I know… Me and her just have a lot in common, you know?  And she’s not emo!

DAVID
Ok, Goth. Whatever.

JACK
 She’s just like, alt.  She only dresses that way to look cool.

DAVID
Cool? [shouting] She looks like a necromancer, out of a video game!

JACK
Yeah! Like the one in Guild Wars!  Isn’t that cool?

DAVID
[Shaking his head] I can’t believe I’m hearing this.  This is crazy.  You’re crazy.  She’s a fucking kid.

JACK
Yeahhhh… Yeah…  I know…  But I mean, she’ll be 17 in like, 2 months.  We just have so much in common.  We both like Marilyn Manson a lot and, um…

DAVID
This is insane.  Is this because you haven’t been sleeping well?  I mean I know you haven’t slept in like a couple of days or something.  I think you need to rest on this.

JACK
Yeah that’s what was keeping me up.  For a while I thought I really liked Anna, and it was so much easier to be with her.  But when she was over here this last weekend, this all hit me.

DAVID
What hit you?  That you’d decided you’d made too many rational, reasonable choices in your life?  That it was better to chase a bird in the bush rather than be content with the perfectly fine one in your hand?
JACK
Mary told me she liked me and stuff, and at first I was like “I think you’re a great girl, but you’re a bit too young for me,” but the more I talked to her, the more I couldn’t help falling in love with her.

DAVID
What? Over Facebook?  You’re in love with this image you’ve created of her in your mind.  You don’t really know her.  She, too, likes an image that she’s created of you, not the real you.  She’s as clueless as you are.

JACK
She’s like, really mature for her age though.  I mean, I’m only 20 and she’ll be 17 in a few months.  I mean it isn’t that bad.

DAVID
Isn’t that bad?  If you were 30 and she was 26, it would be completely different.  But it isn’t.  A 16-year-old girl is going through a lot of changes.  She’s going to be very different in a year, more so in 2, and still more by the time she’s 20.

JACK
 I’m going to visit her later this year.  I’ve been saving up and I’ll stay with my cousin Danny.  I’ve always wanted to see Scotland!

DAVID
With what money?  You have no job.  You know why Anna was so great? Because she seemed to love you, despite you never getting anything for her, despite you never having money for her, despite you never being able to take her out.  She never judged you for your poverty.  All that aside, how the fuck are you going to pay for a trip to the UK, which is absurdly expensive anyway?


JACK
I’m going to use my tax return.

DAVID
That is not income.  That is a one-time bonus.  That is something you would be far better off squirreling away for unanticipated expenses.  Not… Blowing it on trips to visit teenage girls in fucking Scotland.

JACK
I’ll be staying with Danny, remember?  I’ll save a ton of money.

DAVID
That’s not a real solution.  This is crazy, and not in the funny, cool way.  This sort of thing works out in books and stupid rom-com movies.  Not so much in real life.

JACK
Yeah, I know.  I’d laugh at myself too in your shoes.  But she’s literally perfect for me.  Like if I made a check list about all the things I’d like in a person, she would fill every box.  I don't think I’ll ever meet a cute, intelligent, Marilyn Manson loving, guitar playing, brilliant artist and singer with super long hair that collects exotic animals.

DAVID
 [sputtering angrily] That’s your fucking checklist?  That’s the ideal woman? Long hair and loves Manson?  Likes snakes?

JACK
The only thing that bothers me is the age difference which - she teases me about constantly. [laughs]


DAVID
You know why its bothering you? That’s your fucking conscience, pleading in vain for you to start loving sanity more than teenagers.   How would you even do this?  You go to Scotland once, then what? Gonna have a long distance relationship from here to there?  What is your end game on this? What plan of action could you have?

JACK
Well, she’ll probably be coming here for art school in like a year and then we’ll see what happens.

DAVID
This is madness.  Not cool Sparta madness, just the batshit crazy kind.  I’ll talk to you later man.  You need to go and do some thinking and get some sleep.  This is just insane.

David gets up exits the room.  The scene ends, and Jack leaves as well.


ACT II
Setting: David’s apartment, the day after Act I.
David is sitting in the living room reading, when Anna and Jack knock and walk in.

DAVID
 [surprised] Well, uh, hi.  I wasn’t exactly expecting to see you two… together.

ANNA
 [laughing] Yeah, can you believe it?  This guy wants to break up with me.

Anna and Jack sit down next to each other on the couch.

DAVID
Um.  You seem to be taking that rather well.

ANNA
Yeah.  I kind of already knew he was into someone else, and so I didn’t take it too seriously.

DAVID
 [incredulous] So you just kept kind of quasi-dating anyway?   

JACK
[laughing] yeah I guess so!

DAVID
And that seems normal and fine to you?

ANNA
We’re just friends.  I actually support him in this.

DAVID
You what?  Is this like your way of getting revenge?  Encouraging this lunacy?

ANNA
No! I really think it might work out or something.  They seem to like each other.

DAVID
So he’s not only gone insane, but you have too?  I feel like I’m in the looney bin listening to two crazies in straightjackets telling me that up is down, and that the sky is red. 
Anna and Jack laugh together.

DAVID
I’m glad you find it so… amusing.  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry listening to this nonsense.  Maybe it’s good that there’s no screaming or hitting each other, but this is just bizarre.

JACK
Eh, we’ll see what happens, you know?

DAVID
What happens is you guys drag out this farce while you pretend to love her, and then in a year she realizes that you’re not what she thought you were, or vice versa, and you go your separate ways.

JACK
[laughing] Yeah man, maybe.  Shit’s weird.  Hey, we’re going to go catch a flick, see you later.

DAVID
You’re going on a date?  I feel like I’m the only one around here who isn’t huffing paint.
Laughing, Anna and Jack leave.  The scene ends.




ACT III
Setting: A large public park
David and Anna are walking together on the path through a park.
DAVID
So it’s been a dramatic couple of days.

ANNA
Yeah, I mean I knew this was coming.  I already knew he liked her better.

DAVID
So um... Why put up with it?  I mean that seems a little absurd to stick around with him in the face of that.  It’s not like you guys even dated that long.

ANNA
[shrugging] I don’t know.  We talked and I told him I’ll be there anyway if she doesn’t work out, and since he’s got like a year left until she’ll get here anyway.

DAVID
[incredulous] Wait so… you’ve basically told him you’re ok with being the side chick while he pines after another woman?  Do you realize how you sound?

ANNA
[looking away] Yeah, I know.  It’s just that I mean, it might be the best I can get.

DAVID
 [concerned] That’s insane.  You’re still young and beautiful and smart.  Even if you weren’t, there’s no reason for you to… degrade yourself like this.

ANNA
The thing is its still better than I’ve been treated in the past.  Like, I don’t want to give this up completely and just go back to being lonely.

DAVID
[shocked] But that’s crazy!  How on earth will you find any sort of happiness or genuine love with that mentality?  Why would you settle so low?

ANNA
 I don’t know.  It’s just what I’m used to.  He still talks affectionately to me when we’re in bed together, and it’s nice.

DAVID
[sputtering in surprise] Wait… You’re sleeping with him still?  So he ostensibly sets you aside to proclaim his love for this fucking girl he’s never met overseas, and still fucks you on the side?  That’s love?  That’s a relationship?  I’m not sure who’s getting the worse end of the stick, you or this other girl.  He obviously doesn’t care that much for her if he still warms his bed with you.

ANNA
 I know it sounds crazy, it’s just all I’ve had.

DAVID
 It breaks my heart to hear you say that.  You deserve better.  Everyone does.

ANNA
Do I really? What you say sounds so logical, but, deep down, I just don’t believe that.


DAVID
Then there’s your problem.  And until you do, you’ll never find something remotely satisfying.  This entire thing is a train wreck and you seem to be aware of that, yet you just continue on anyway?  I’m not sure which of you is more crazy.

ANNA
Yeah.  I don’t think they’ll last too long anyway, then he might come back.

DAVID
Of course it won’t.  It’s a ridiculous pipe dream and the odds are she’ll realize he’s not whatever image her teenage mind has constructed of him, and grow out of him, and probably fairly quickly.  When that happens, you would have to be afflicted with the worst sort of servility and defeat to take him back.  I can’t imagine what sort of self-esteem fail you’d have to have, to accept that state of affairs.

ANNA
[placing her hand on her abdomen] I know. I’m not stupid.  It’s just that I’m holding out hope that he changes his mind and sticks around when the baby comes.

DAVID
[eyes tightly closed in a wince as he stops walking] Oh Jesus Christ.


Scene ends.

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